Taking a stand over statuesque feet
In the unusual world of the Melbourne Uni student union, there’s this guy Ramon. Or there was this guy Ramon. I’m not sure if he’s still around. He used to submit a lot of writing to the student literary magazine, Farrago. Jess used to be one of the editors of this prestigious publication, and a fair amount of Ramon’s work got cut. Some got in, too, but a bit was cut. The cut pieces were those that somehow defamed someone.
In an outburst of vitriol he released a ‘zine full of condemnation of the Farrago editorial team. Jess gets mentioned a bunch of times, but the most unusual mention by far was the one where Ramon talks about how he pictures her marmorial feet while recieving anal sex from another dude in order to orgasm. Marmorial means marble-like.
Now maybe I’m old fashioned, but I somehow feel that if anyone is picturing the feet of the woman I love while having bum sex it should be me. Or at the very least nobody else. So here, on a blog, I’m reclaiming her marmorial feet.
They’re mine now, Ramon, all mine.
That’s right, I’m being tough over my blog. He’d better watch out, or I’ll post on him. Pioneer style. The way Wild Bill Hickock used to blog about his rivals. This is Man Blogging.
You can’t see it, but I just clapped my palms against my chest twice and took on an expression of masculinity. Like I was about to chest bump. Or call someone “homes.” I’m being all “what up homes?” Yeah. It’s mannish. Mannish like an East German female weightlifter.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have a foot rub to give. Suck it, Ramon.
Showed him.
